You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
