It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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