Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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