Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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