Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's blow job season.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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