I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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