Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way