Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
whose ass print is on the piano?
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus