Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
