I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm sobbing to NWA
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.