May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"