I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I will be naked everywhere
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky