She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
