i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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