I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize