she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
as a side note pls kill me
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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