i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize