i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
