no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Sober January is a disaster.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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