Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
