Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
