ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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