you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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