six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
