Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im holly from the hills drunk
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
