There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
