That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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