Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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