just tell him i said nine months
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize
