Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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