I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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