Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
