I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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