I'll bet she douches with gravy.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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