I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
