Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
