It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize