Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
