screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
