you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
