I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i will never coherently bang her
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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