Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
