I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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