marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
