After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
