..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
