maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
