Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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