I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
