I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
