looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
