I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
