Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
