He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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