Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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