I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
