What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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