Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
