i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
