Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
We are two peas in an std pod
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
