It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
try to milk me bitch
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