party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
