Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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