And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
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Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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