I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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